content warning: Themes of depression, mental degradation, sexual themes, disturbing events and well just me "being myself" at this point im talking more about how i talk than i actually talk i dont know who this is but i hate him at times, mostly he is fine but he can say some things that dont need to be said (its not DID, im fully aware, i just have a way of thinking OVER myself)

I'm gatulah, I made this website to make friends, because I don't trust people anymore and just want fate to take the wheel. At the same time I'm horrified of the consequences, what I'm saying is my freeform thoughts.

Hello!!!!!! Welcome to my website which has a gimmick of nothing getting deleted from it!!!!!! It's so fun and quirky!!!! JINKIES! I'm so hilarious!!!! It's like I'm going insane and everyone gets to watch, while nobody is watching, stuck in plain sight a blank spot.

I know how to make things function, I don't know how to make them pretty, I don't like CSS, because it's not the type of programming I like. I can't get myself to make something ugly. So what the fuck is this? How can I explain it to myself? What do I want exactly? Is it really just friends? But I guess I'm just too afraid of meeting someone that is unforgivable again. I can't build trust again, there aren't any pieces left. I don't want to buy them from a store. And I don't want to steal them. So what do I do? I guess just have a fucking existential crisis. I built myself a cage and all I can do is wallow. I want to tell my message but it all looks like shit, nobody will want to see it, I am powerless.
I don't remember writing this, well I do, but it wasn't me. Maybe it was, but I don't want to accept how pathetic I can be. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like everyone hates me, I feel like being myself is wrong to everyone around me. But is this really me? I don't even have a point here, it's useless. I don't even know my own intentions, how can I expect someone else to understand? I'm trying to convince myself to let it all go. It's not working, I feel as if I'll continue wasting everyone's time. Whoever it may be.

WOW YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING HERO DUDE OH MY FUCKING GOD sorry i know i didnt mean it like that but what the fuck i sound like the whiniest asshole in the galaxy and this isnt making it better i dont care

Nobody will help you if you are afraid of them

Sometimes I feel helpless and empty, but when there is nobody that can help

The feeling goes away faster.

This is my website, I hope that I can trust others again someday.

So yeah, this is my website and it will be the way it is, because I won't delete anything I write.
Even if it comes off as cringy or extremely whimpy.
If my honesty is disturbing then you can just not read it, I'm sorry if what I say makes you upset.
I want to enjoy life with the utmost honesty and I am going through..
My self-made hellscape.
You can join it if you want.

I want to warn you that some of the things you will read are really disturbing, everything is okay now,
I have changed the people I am around (my family).

This is our only opportunity to be alive, so please, let's hang on to it.
This website is a showcase of how many things can go wrong, remember that I never lost hope.
Even with everything going wrong, it doesn't matter, what matters is that I did it and learned from it.

Also obvi it's wip, this looks horrid (it is now acceptable)



Also undertale succor, made by me and my former friend MeltedBox in 2023
(tell me if u want ep2, cuz i have it lying around)